End of Day

Lines straight across the way
Cannot break the end of day
Shadow doesn’t know the ground
There is no place where it is found
Bright gleams of light does fray,
But cannot break the end of day.
Listlessness cannot be bound
Neither can the growing mound
No matter what depression lay
It cannot break the end of day.
There is no morbid sounds
And no darkness that can surround
Even the deepest grey
Cannot break the end of day

The Cherry Tree

Spring a sprig of cherry tree

And carry it over to me.

Paint it accross the skin so dry,

These velvet blooms that one cries.

Sweep clear the arid land

Remove all the grains of sand.

Flurries of pink blow over this heart

Plant your seed of a new start.

With the moist dew of your eyes,

Comes the clearing of the skies.

Arrive the season of green

Grow over what this world has seen.

I think that as it is with many single women my age, the focus is always on what is wrong with me, why doesn't that person like me, what can I do to change?

I no longer think that way after years of wishing I was someone else, I was skinnier, prettier, funnier, cooler. I used to look at myself in the mirror and think the worst, but now when I look in the mirror all I see is beauty. Yes I believe I am a beautiful person. I was born with a skin condition that gave me white spots that cover my torso and changed my hair grey and at a young age it was so hard to see anything but a defect. I embrace that now. The biggest struggle for me has always been what people will think when they see them and now I don't care, they are as much apart of me as the color of my eyes... they make me unique and they in many ways have shaped me. I am someone who is stronger because of everything I have had to deal with in my life. Body image issues is one of the hardest things for a person to overcome because if you look into the mirror and you can't see yourself as beautiful then no one else will.

I used to think that all I would need to feel pretty was for someone to tell me that I am, now I wake up every morning and say it to myself and it's true.

I recently made a huge turn in my life, a step forward, a new path. After being in the work force for several years (it has been 7 years since I finished school) and a string of mediocre jobs; I have decided to return to school! For once in my life I feel like I am finally living it for myself and not for someone else. This fall I will be going to school and eventually (after 4 years of hard work) come out of it with a degree in Conservation Enforcement, something that I find interesting and ultimately something that I believe will help me make a difference in this world.